It’s been a while since I blogged about anything. I feel I need to add my tiny voice to the topic of the moment. Violence. I’ve never been a fan, I’ve never understood it. I was brought up to defend myself but that doesn’t mean shouting at the other person and especially not becoming physically abusive. As a kid, my sister and I fought all the time. We were kids and we are 5 years apart. The perfect age gap of indifferences. Sometimes our arguments would turn into pushing and shoving and throwing things at one another, as kids do. But one day I shoved my sister that she fell against the wall and cried. She naturally told my dad. This time I didn’t just get a hiding but I was spoken to like an older kid. He said to me, and I will never forget those words, “If you hit your sister now, you will grow up to be a man who will abuse and beat his wife and that is not going to happen, so this stops now!”. It stuck with me throughout my life. I use to have a short fuse and my temper would always be an issue and looking back I remember a boy in my classroom and his parents came to my house one evening and it was reported at school that I hit him in the face. Of course I can’t recall any of this. But I recall the 4 parents having a discussion in our house about it. I also remember picking up a brick while at high school when some boy teased me and I was about to slap him with it when I just put it down and walked away. This could’ve ended differently but thank God it didn’t.
Whichever excuse you want to find, whatever your background, being violent is the dumbest thing in all of the world. I’ve never seen my dad lift a hand towards my mom, they had arguments and disagreements like any other couple but he would just walk away to cool down. In fact they would argue and state their case but no one slammed doors nor threw things around nor broke windows. I did however see my dad fight once with a stranger. It was just how it was and he was defending his family and he did it the only way he knew how.
You see, I may be generalising now but for many of us growing up with a violent culture on the Cape Flats, that is the only way we know how to protect or defend ourselves. Use violence. When my sister didn’t want my nephew at a young age to own a toy gun or sword I was like urhm okay, but I grew up with toy guns and knives and swords and grenades and shields. I quickly understood why she did not want to expose him to it at an early age.
I am by no means an expert in any field nor did I read up on tons of books or do research because sometimes in life it just needs logic. You see, I feel it all has to do with your mindset and also what you’re exposed to. As a coloured male from the Flats I was never taught conflict resolution. I was never taught to argue your point and walk away still being friends. It was not the way in which our society reared us. If you liked a girl but her brother or ex boyfriend didn’t like you and he spread the rumour that he was going to eff you up after school, you would take up the challenge and fight him cos otherwise you would be called all types of derogatory names. And I’ve seen this shit, it happened to close friends of mine. We allowed that nonsense to happen. And don’t misunderstand me, I am not even talking about gangs or gang culture, this is just ordinary boys from the hood who were brought up that big boys don’t cry and you’re a sissy if you don’t stand your man in a physical punch up. What cuc! What utter shit. The skewed mentality we are raised under makes me want to tell the new generation that there is more to this bullshit than is out there. If you have a disagreement with someone that’s ok, and you are both entitled to your opinion, whether you or he wants to admit they are wrong or whether both have valid points, it’s ok, it’s allowed. It does not have to end in a screaming match with swear words and pushing and shoving then punches being thrown, weapons used or worse even, someone losing a life. Continue reading
Here’s a message to those who are, or were recently, hurt in love.
This is not about why and the reasons for the break up and hurt, but rather advice and how to deal with it. Firstly, make sure that this is what you want, that you no longer want the drama, the lies, the hurt, the cheating, the abuse, the pain. When you know you are ready to move on, delete everything that reminds you of the person from your life, mostly, it’s a way to remove it from your memory.
Delete all pics, all emails, pics from your phone, text and Whatsapp messages, EVERYTHING. This is your first step in moving on. Cos love is an emotion and when a pic of someone or some place takes us back as we reminisce and become nostalgic, we see it for all the pretty and good things about that moment. It brings back that euphoria of love and being loved and being needed and wanted and cared for. So, get rid of that shit. Cos you are not at that moment in the relationship, or ex relationship. You are at that stage where you need to move on.
Also, when the moments present itself to take the person back cos of whatever reason, of course the power is in your hands to choose what it is YOU want. This is the stage you think back of not the good, but all the “bad” and try and figure out if it is all worth it. Will the person “change their habit”? Was it actually maybe your fault? Was it a misunderstanding? But if it was that the other person treated you like an asshole, abused you, lied to you, cheated, hurt or emotionally drained you, this is when you know no way in hell am I going to put myself through all of this again…
My 2 cents, not all will agree but that’s ok.
I was asked on my opinion about that girly (I don’t even want to know her name) who made a video threatening another girl. I watched it. Once. Nobody wants to see a young lady perform the way she did. I don’t have much of opinion on it but I’m certainly not going to judge and make a big stink on social media about it. I think the young lady probably by now knows she messed up. Whether it was her friends cheering her on to send a video to another girl (probably fighting over some boy) or whether she is always the class clown, or whatever, it matters not, the damage is done.
I see many adults judging like we were all angels. We all use to vang on our cuc as lyties, we just never had cellphones recording it and having it reshared a couple of hundred thousand times for the world to see. Of course I’m not condoning her action, it was improper and unladylike and some sort of “bully” tactic was evident but I am saying let this be a lesson for us, and our generation of youth out there. And to the adults who are angels and never made a mistake, we see you. I don’t know this girl, and I’m not about to find out whose family she is or what kind of parents she has cos frankly I don’t care. I do think the lesson here is to be careful of dangerous a tool social media is. How dangerous it is when you post something that can land you in jail or scar you for life or have a psycho follow where you’ve checked in and then fabricate a story and hurt you. The bad things are endless. Continue reading
The old way of RAMS is gone, the new “RAM” is here. The new Broadcast Research Council (BRC) is the new council to bring you RAM figures. The National Association of Broadcasters resigned from the South African Audience Research Foundation(SAARF) BRC appointed TNS Global to do the research.
I won’t bore you with technicalities and details but after years of working at it a new survey company and methodology has been implemented which means this will be the new way forward. Many stations have lost tons of thousands, in some cases hundreds of thousands of listeners from the last (old) results. I have made a note of a few stations in SA. As per usual because I’m a CT born boy here are the CT commercial stations, national stations, regional stations and a few community radio stations. I’ve included the community station in PE as this is where I’m now based.
Congrats to Heart FM in CT who is now the biggest station in Cape Town. My station Algoa FM in Port Elizabeth has also jumped up by about 80 000 to 576 000 listeners
Heart – 838 000 listeners
Kfm – 681 000
Good Hope FM – 658 000
Smile – 146 000
Capetalk – 77 000
National: Continue reading
Since yesterday and all day today, the talk has been around SABC’s boss “forcing” its 18 radio stations to play ninety percent South African music and leave 10 to the International category. So lets just say you had a show with 10 songs in it per hour then only one of it would be a Chris Brown or a Rihanna or Justin Bieber track. In fact, if your show allowed 10 songs per hour and it was 3 hours long, Chris, Riri and Biebs will be the only International songs you’d hear on that show.
Everyone’s been giving their opinions and there’s been social media debates and those who aren’t in my industry have been piling up the questions.
I work in radio. I’ve been involved or worked in online radio, retail radio, theme park radio, community radio as well as commercial radio. SABC stations are known as Public Broadcasting Stations for obvious reasons. So when Hlaudi Motsoeneng said the 18 stations in its stable will play 90% it seemed like all of South Africa freaked out.
An iol article I found from over a year ago where these music percentage quotas were already being discussed. Have a read.
In my heading I said that I’m ok with all of this. Why? Well, firstly, I play in the commercial radio sector and not Public Broadcasting Stations so we’re unaffected but also because maybe it’s time we give South African artists more airplay, especially if you are the country’s broadcaster right? Of course. But is 90% maybe not too much? Who knows! It’s all a trial period of 3 months where they’ll get some public opinion and feedback and then assess if the ninety percent stays or if it needs to be changed. Continue reading
MUMBAI, March 14, 2016 – Indian Cricket legend Rahul Dravid has taken time to spend with youngsters from the Laureus-supported Magic Bus project in the Mankhurd slum in Mumbai.
Dravid, who is the second highest run-maker in Test cricket history, surprised the young cricket fans as they prepared for an educational sports session. The former India captain took part in informal coaching before participating in a game of street cricket, offering hints and tips while inspiring the sports-mad youngsters.
Dravid also spent time with Nitin Bawaskar, the young man leading the session who is a role model for other youths in the community. He learnt with Magic Bus how to capture attention and deliver a message through fun and engaging sporting activities, especially in a community crazy about cricket. Continue reading